cried for the first time today while driving home from class,in like 2 or 3 weeks, it sucks. Feelin unloved and underappreciated and i took the day off work tmro for my birthday and i have no plans.at all. lol..gonna drive to work and get my paycheck n hopefully a coworker will give me a free drink lol jus gonna sleep and take nature walks all day and smoke alot of weed which isnt bad, but I don’t know… not what i want. i rely too much on other people to make my special day goood. I have this cute ass velour cheetah dress that makes my ass look bomb that i wanna wear but I have no where to wear it too tmro. I don’t even wanna get cute anymore.. and it makes me sad that tmro for the first time like ever, she won’t be saying happy birthday. I wish she didn’t give me such a good memorable day last year or the year before that because fuckkkkkk ughhhh it wont even cross her mind tmro that its my day of birth, weird.dont even matttta. idk why I’m letting myself depress myself when I should be happy and excited. Whatever. Just baked myself my own birthday pie with 20 almonds on it, since no one in my family made me anything haha. sucks butt. And when I said “hey Nic look I put 20 almonds on it” he said “why? That’s weird why the specific number of 20?? ” haha fuck. n my new lover doesnt even have a phone so we cant even talk which kinda sucks lol I need to go drink some albezzia tincture and get out of this funk. ~pointless sad birthday eve blues rant~poop
How would your life be different if…you stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day…You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others.
Recently I’ve been on this new path of self-love. I never realized how crucial it is to love yourself, to be happy in this world. This past year has been about growth, and I learned so much about myself that I never imagined to be possible. There have been ups and downs, new friendships, a lost relationship, and more change than I can express. All things I am still coping with now. But I realized that the real goal in life is not to be strictly happy, but to be whole. This means experiencing all the trials life has to offer as well, from heartbreak to mistakes made in grief. Then being able to move past it. A close friend recently told me, that the most important thing is learning from every experience. Never regret doing something, or making a mistake, if you took something from it. And then don’t make it again. That’s what living is about. Growth.
My friend and I took another photo shoot in the forest, a place where I’ve been visiting a lot lately. In my quest for self-adoration, I often find myself here since it’s one of my favorite places to be. I think this picture really captures my year of growth quite beautifully, if I do say so myself. Plus there’s a rainbow in it… so I say that’s a good sign!
Hope you have a beautiful day filled with plenty of love for yourself!
This is truly magnificent. Not just the photo but your words too. I love the idea that perhaps life isn’t about being strictly happy but about being whole. I’d like to ponder on that for awhile. I can see that rainbow and it looks like it’s coming straight from that beautiful soul of yours. You look like a gorgeous woodland nymph.
How did this get so good so fast? such a gift…
If you look at the fact that you have a roof over your head, food to eat, that you are young and beautiful and live in a peaceful land, then no, you have nothing to be sad about. But the fact is, we are not only a physical body, we have souls too, and sometimes our souls get sick. If you break a leg you don’t just say ‘I have no reason to have a broken leg’ and ignore it; you seek help. It’s the same when your soul gets hurt. Don’t apologize for being sad.
serious butterflies and such good vibrations from u~I wonder where this going to go, but I don’t wonder too hard I just let it flow…hmmm I’m going back to sleep to dreamland and maybe ill see u there..gotta be rested for my tattoo tmro :) ~ I feel good~